Why You Don’t Like Yourself
I’m fat, I’m lazy, I’m unattractive, I am not good enough for anyone else. These are some of the thoughts that I used to struggle with, and still do struggle with on an occasion. Unfortunately, I think it is safe to say that we all struggle with these thoughts at one point or another in our lives. But what is it? What is it about our lives that we hate so much? Why do we learn to hate ourselves for the beautiful individuals that we truthfully are? The real reason why you don’t like yourself, it is because you listen to others.
Part of the joys of living with my niece is being able to watch her grow right before my eyes. A few weeks ago we went to Target to buy some shelves for our house. As we were walking up and down the aisles, my niece saw a Muslim female who was wearing a beautiful hijab. She turned to me, looked confused, and asked if she was cold.
Not going to lie, I panicked a little. I grabbed my niece and walked away quickly. Once we were a few aisles over, I tried to explain to her that it is how she dresses, and that there is nothing wrong with that.
Just like I told my niece that there is nothing wrong with how people dress, there is also nothing wrong with my niece asking me about it. I didn’t pull her away out of anger. I pulled her away so that she didn’t offended anyone. She doesn’t know what a hijab resembles and why some wear it. She was just a little curious to why this lady was cold in the middle of summer. But that’s just it… she didn’t know.
So what does this have to do with not liking yourself? See, it isn’t until we start listening to others that we feel a certain way about others or about ourselves. We aren’t born with the thoughts that we are fat, that we are ugly, or that we are worthless. We aren’t born knowing about racism, sexism, or any other hatred act. It is what we are taught. It is because we listen to others who only criticize us. Others who only criticize us to hide their own insecurities in life.
The reason why you don’t like yourself has nothing to do with who you are as a person. The reason why you don’t like yourself is because you are taught to not like yourself. Hey, I am guilty of it as well. I spent the majority of my life listening to others, caring what they think, and trying to fit in with a crowd that degraded me. Aside from genetics, listening to the negativity and judgement of others is most likely the primary reasoning behind the mental illnesses that I have been diagnosed.
With negativity, and with the increase of social media, we are taught that we need to be the best. If we are not the best, well then we are worthless. If we don’t get a certain amount of likes on Instagram, retweets on Twitter, or shares on Facebook, then we aren’t good enough. We are letting social media and the thoughts of others define our self-worth.
Trust me, no amount of likes, no amount of comments, or no amount of shares can ever define your worth. You are greater than any number could ever portray. You are greater than any number of likes, any number on the scale, or any number in your bank account.
Take it from me, someone who has experienced a lot of self-doubt and self-hatred in their life. When you don’t like yourself, life can become pretty miserable. Forget what other people think, and forget about what you don’t have in life. Live for yourself, be damn proud of the beautiful individual that you are, and focus on the blessings that you have. This is your only life to live. Every day that you wake up, live your best life, and live it to the fullest.
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