“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Former American President Theodore Roosevelt
This has to be one of my favorite quotes of all time. It’s real, it’s truthful, and it’s powerful. Yet, despite being all of these, comparing ourselves is something that many of us still can’t seem to quit doing.
Comparing our lives to the lives of others is one of the most destructive things that we can do to both our happiness and success.
From comping things such as the house we live in, the cars that we drive, the salary that we earn, the clothes that we wear, our “perceived happiness,” it seems to be never ending. Everywhere you look, there is always something to compare.
It can get exhausting when you compare yourself to others. And while you are doing your best to try and keep up with the rest of the world, you slowly start to question whether or not you have what it takes. Slowly, but surely, your self-confidence starts to decrease.
Twenty-four years is how long I lived my life like this. Now I don’t want it to seem like I lived a miserable life (I have actually had an incredibly blessed life), but I always wanted more from myself. Everywhere I looked, there seemed to be a new opportunity to get something that I never had.
Low and behold, trying to please everybody around me ultimately led to me hating the person that I was. It felt like a never-ending game of fetch. Somebody would throw out an idea or belief of how they wanted me to be, and I would spend all of my time and energy trying to be that person.
Spoiler alert, I didn’t win.
So how can you stop these habits? What are some of the things that I can share with you that will prevent you from going through the internal pain that I went through?
Here are 4 things to know that will help you stop comparing yourself to other people.
1. Realize that happiness and success looks different for everyone.
Part of the reason that we compare ourselves to others is because we want others to think that we are successful. What we fail to realize is that being successful looks different for everybody. How I define success is not how you are going to define success. How I define happiness is not how you are going to define happiness.
Surely we are going to share some similarities, but we are also going to have many differences.
The point is, chase that vision of what happiness and success mean to you and don’t let anybody taint that vision.
2. Nobody is perfect.
Nobody is perfect, and as much of a shock as this might come to you, you aren’t perfect either. I’m not, you are not, nobody is. With everything that we do in life, there is always going to be room for improvement.
So how does this help you to stop comparing yourself to other people? Because when you compare yourself, you are trying to compare yourself to an image of perfection. You want your life to look a certain way so that others will think your life is perfect. Either that or you compare yourself to somebody else’s life because you think their life is perfect.
Nobody has a perfect life. Nobody ever has had a perfect life and nobody will ever have a perfect life. Let go of perfectionism and embrace all of your imperfections.
3. You are you, and that is your power.
Going off of differences and striving to be perfect, take a look at any individual who lives a happy life and is successful. What is the ONE thing that separates them from everybody else?
They have the same amount of time in a day as you and me. Generally speaking, they have had access to the same resources. But the difference lies in the fact that they don’t try to be somebody they aren’t.
Oftentimes we look at our differences as negatives when really they should be positives. Every happy and successful individual is the way that they are because they embraced their differences and accepted them instead of trying to conform to the beliefs and likes of others.
If you want to be happy and successful, then you should take note and embrace your differences as well.
4. Realize that the world is constantly changing.
What does that vision of success and happiness look like in your mind? Does it include having a mansion on the beach, driving around a fancy sports car, or flying in private jets?
Ask yourself what would you do once you achieved these goals. Would you truly be happy, or would you just move on to pursuing the next desire?
The point isn’t to not want anything in life, but to be grateful for all that you already have. What you want today may not be “cool” tomorrow. So instead of spending your time trying to accomplish a desire simply to please others, focus on what you want in life and what’s going to make you happy.
Final Thoughts
Comparing yourself is not going to do you any good. Instead, learn to live the very life that you are living, follow your beliefs, and love yourself for the unique and incredible individual that you are.
These 4 ways to stop comparing yourself to other people will help you to regain your independence and will help you to love the life that you are living. Remember, nobody is you, and that is your greatest power!
Michael Bonnell
Yesterday’s post: 11 Simple Ways To Spread Happiness And Kindness Around You