Have you ever stopped to recognize the fact that we tend to treat others better than we treat ourselves? Think back to the last time that somebody talked negatively about you. Perhaps it was somebody with a higher social status than you, somebody who makes more money than you do, a supervisor or a manager, or even somebody whose respect and attention you seek. How did you respond?
Now think back to a time where somebody disrespected somebody that you truly care about. Maybe they were talking negatively about your family, friends who aren’t there to defend themselves, or somebody who is weaker and smaller than they are. What was your response this time around? Was it different than how you responded when you have been insulted or disrespected? My guess is that it probably was.
The truth is, we are excellent at coming to the defense of others and aiding others with the various problems that they are enduring in life, but when it comes time to defending and sticking up for ourselves, we flat out stink.
I will admit that if it was somebody who had a higher social status than I did or somebody whose acceptance and liking I wanted, I probably would have brushed it off and accepted it. The problem is, every time I “brushed it off,” it would always stay with me mentally. I would listen, absorb, and start to think about myself the same way others thought of me.
Finding the strength and courage to stick up for myself is something that I have always struggled with ever since I can remember. I mean, that’s truly what it takes to stand up for yourself – strength and courage.
I don’t know why I had such a difficult time with this, but I had always let others push me around. I had allowed the thoughts and judgment of others to become my own, and I had tried to change the person I am just for the approval of other individuals. This only caused me to start hating the person that I was.
No matter what stage of life you are in, you deserve some respect. You deserve the respect of those that look up to you, as well as the respect of those who you look up to. You are just as important to others as others are to you. But others are only going to show you the same amount of respect that you are willing to show yourself. If you aren’t willing to treat yourself like someone you care about, then how can you expect others to do so?
Looking Ahead In Life
At my job, one of the questions that I constantly ask the individuals that I speak to is where do they see themselves in years down the road? What does that ideal job, ideal career, and ideal life look like? I tell them not to worry too much about answering it as there isn’t a right or wrong answer and the answer can change and day, but right now in the moment, what is it that they are wanting to accomplish?
The reason I love asking this question is because it helps that individual to paint a picture in their minds for how they want their life to look. Even if they have never visualized their life having achieved their goals, they are now. What this does, is it helps them to shift their focus. It helps them to see that they can accomplish their goals and while it might not be easy, the life that they want for themselves is out there. They just need to be willing to go after it.
Oddly enough, this is something that I use in my daily life as well. For me, something inside of me clicks every time I envision myself having accomplished my goals. I get this weird sensation that – for a brief moment – I am actually living them in the moment. One of the benefits of this is that once I envision myself having accomplished my goals and experience that brief sensation of having done so, I start finding ways to take care of myself to help grow closer towards achieving those goals. I don’t want to let go of that feeling, and as a result of trying to hang onto it, I focus on doing everything in my power to bring it back.
Take a few minutes to do the same. Envision the success that you want for yourself. Imagine what that life were to look like having achieved all of your goals. Hold onto that feeling that you get when you envision yourself having accomplished your goals. Take a few minutes to look ahead in your life, reflect on the things that you want, and start to treat yourself like somebody you care about so that you can build the confidence to start pursuing that life.
You must determine where it is that you want to go in life. You must keep the promises that you make to yourself, reward yourself for all of your progress and accomplishments, and motivate yourself when the going gets tough. Above all else, you must determine how you act towards yourself as the world will only act the same way towards you.
Treat Yourself Like Somebody You Care About
We all have the desire to feel loved, accepted, acknowledged, and appreciated by others. What most of us fail to realize, is that it all begins with loving, accepting, acknowledging, and appreciating ourselves for the individuals that we already are instead of who we have yet to become.
I am not an expert, nor do I have all of the answers, but I have made it my mission to help inspire as many lives as I possibly can. In part of wanting to do so, I was first forced to face my own struggles and insecurities so that I could be my best self to give my best.
I want to share with you some of the things that I have implemented into my life that have helped me to treat myself with more respect. Remember, I am still a work in progress, but I am better than today than I was yesterday, and that’s what matters the most.
1. Be mindful of how you talk to yourself.
Don’t talk down on yourself. Talk to yourself the way you want others to talk to you. Speak kindly to yourself. Tell yourself that even though you aren’t perfect, you are doing your best, and that’s what matters. Tell yourself that you are capable of accomplishing any and all of your dreams because it’s the truth!
2. Use uplifting reminders and affirmations.
Set uplifting and positive reminders all around you. Whether it’s on the mirror in your bathroom, the background on your phone, or a post-it note on your desk, fill your surroundings with uplifting thoughts. You become the very thoughts that you surround yourself with and the thoughts that you accept. The more you see these uplifting thoughts, the more you start to believe them and live them.
3. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
It’s not going to do you any good to compare yourself to anybody else. Comparing yourself (especially your start) to others isn’t going to benefit you at all. The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. If you can improve on the person that you are each and every day, that’s all that really matters.
Not many of us take the time to realize that we are in a constant relationship with ourselves. We all have constant feelings and emotions towards ourselves. Sometimes we see ourselves as being a failure. Other times we see ourselves as our own best friends. Whichever one you choose, treat yourself like someone you care about. The more you treat yourself like someone you care about, the happier you will be and the better your life will become.