Why you need to take responsibility for your actions

While I try to spread a message of motivation, inspiration, and positivity, I am far from perfect. There are many times that I get frustrated and let my emotions get the best of me. Before I started writing my daily blog, my negative emotions were consuming my every thought. I was lashing out at family members, treating people poorly, and just in a negative mental state overall. There are no excuses for my actions, nor do I want to come up with any. Instead, there is a very valuable lesson that I learned from all of this. If you are wanting to become a better person, you need to take responsibility for your actions.

About two months ago I was talking to a friend about my sisters upcoming wedding. Holy matrimony, one of the best parts of life. We got a little off topic and started talking about her fiance. The things that I said were not nice to say the least. Without repeating any of the contect, let’s just say that it was really bad. Instead of taking the time and putting in the effort to get to know him, I was judging him. It wasn’t even like I was judging a book but its cover, it was me judging a book without even reading the title. I knew nothing about him and still felt the need to judge him.

Who am I? Just because he is not like me, that doesn’t make it okay for me to judge him. Absolutely not. The sad part is that he is actually very much like me, I just never acknowledged it. Here is a person who makes my sister incredibly happy and a person that would take a bullet for her. As a brother, what more can I want? I do not live with them, I do not know their personal life, but yet I was talking behind their backs. Well after a month went by, they both found out. Not only were they completely frustrated with me, but they were beyond hurt. And rightfully so.

If you have a sibling, you feel their pain when they are hurt by others. Imagine being the one that caused the pain. Instead of being happy for the people who are the closest to me, I was turning my back on them and betraying them. I have never felt so low and so disappointed in myself. Without even trying to make any excuses, I came clean and took responsibility. Even with owning up to my actions, it still took me a long time to apologize.

That apology came last night. Last night after we went to a baseball game, and after the first real attempt that I took to get to know him. Here is the crazy part, I enjoyed his company and realized that we actually have a lot in common. I really enjoyed someone who I had been poorly talking about just a few months earlier. By the grace of God, he forgave me for what I had said and for my actions.

My point with this whole story is to show you that you will truthfully feel better when you take responsibility for your actions. After my conversation last night with my soon-to-be brother in law, I can say that he is going to fit into our family very well. All it took was for me to put in the effort and get to know him a little bit. No book is worth judging but its cover, and no human is worth judging period. We are have our own differences, and we all share similarities. Sometimes, all it takes is effort.

It really feels good to take responsibility for my actions. Was it hard? You damn right it was, but it was owing. I owed it to him to apologize and to tell him how deeply sorry I was. While a part of pride was lost in apologizing, an even larger amount was gained. We are all human, and we all make mistakes. While the mistake itself matters, you can’t change what you have done. The only things you can do is to learn from your mistakes, take responsibility for your actions, and try to prevent them in the future. Once you do this, you will grow as a human being and you will truthfully be happier. That my friends, is why it is important to take responsibility for your actions.

 

Michael Bonnell

6/21/2018

 

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