There was a point in my life where saying no was my favorite thing to say. Whether it was spending time with friends and family, going out and creating memorable experiences, or even just doing something meaningful with my life. When asked to do any of these things, I would just simply respond by saying “No.”
I was in a rut for a bit and could sit here and come up with thousands of excuses for why I was the way I was – I was depressed, I didn’t have the energy, I was different than others and just didn’t like doing the things that most of my friends were doing – but the real reason why I was saying no to everything in my life was because I was a one-sided person. It was either my way of life or no way.
Life for me quickly became boring, but by the time that I realized how boring of a life I was living, I felt too disconnected from my friends and the world around me to really do anything about it. Instead of trying to turn my life around, I found it to be a better idea to sit in my room playing videogames for hours on end while feeling sorry for myself.
Something had finally clicked in the back of my mind, and after years of letting life pass me by, I finally started to find happiness again in my life. It wasn’t until I read The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer that I realized what it was that had clicked.
When I first writing daily and sharing my story for the world to see, it was a challenge. When I first decided to embrace my own insecurities and do whatever was required to start actually enjoying life, it was a challenge. When I first started to purposely force myself out of my comfort zone as much as I could, it was a challenge. My life went from boring to challenging, and with the vast majority of the challenges that came my way, I tried my best to say yes to them.
The way I saw it, saying no to things wasn’t getting me to where I wanted to be in life. I wanted adventure, I wanted to be able to someday look back at all of the memories that I had created and smile, and most importantly, I just wanted to give myself the opportunity to live my life to the fullest.
The Habit of Saying No
There are going to be some who are opposed to saying yes to everything in life. There are the same people who think that every time you say yes to something (especially if it holds no significance to you), you are saying no to a million other things.
To that, they’re right. When you do say yes to one thing, you are simultaneously saying no to a million other possibilities. But instead of looking at it from this point of view, try to see it like this – you will never know what could be if you aren’t willing to say yes. Maybe you would have found a new passion, created the best memories of your life, or maybe you would have somehow inched closer towards achieving your goals. But because you said no, you will simply never know.
What I Learned From Saying Yes to More
Starting to say yes to more in my life was probably one of the best decisions that I could have ever made. In doing so, I have not only broken out of the barriers that once used to hold me back, but I also started to create some of the best memories of my life and some of the most meaningful relationships.
Because I started saying yes to more in my life, I realized that I really like country music, I love going on hikes and exploring the outdoors, and I actually enjoy going out on the weekends with friends and letting go of control. While these may all seem like normal things to you, I used to hate country music, despised going outdoors without electronics, and was absolutely petrified of going out on the weekends and not having control over every little detail. At the same time, though, I felt like this because I had never given myself a chance to experience anything but what I already knew..
Aside from that, I also learned how to believe in myself once again and that I am truly stronger than any of the challenges or obstacles that I face in life. Once I quit pondering all that could go wrong and decided to take action in life, everything just started falling into place.
I can’t sit here and say that I started saying yes to everything in my life. There are some things that I am picky with, and many times where I find myself reverting back into the habit of saying no. There are also some things that are just flat out dumb to say yes to.
The key, though, isn’t to be perfect and say yes to everything that life throws at you, it’s to be wise and push yourself out of your comfort zone as often as you can. If you never try something new, you will simply never know if you like it or not.
We all possess endless amounts of strength. Sometimes, we just need to jump into whatever is holding you back and just get started in order to find the true strength that we possess. Once I started saying yes to more and started taking chances, that’s when I found out what I was truly capable of achieving. Not just that, but it’s also when I truly started enjoying my life.
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