My Relationship With Myself

my relationship with myself
my relationship with myself
Photo from: Unsplash

Life is full of relationships. In some way, shape, or form, we are constantly interacting with those close to us or with the world that we live in. 

In everything that we do, relationships are the foundation for success. But what very few of us realize is that it all begins with the relationship that you have with yourself. If you do not love yourself entirely for who you are as a person and learn to make yourself your own number one priority, you will find it difficult to do the same for others.

Having a healthy relationship with yourself means that you have a stable sense of self-worth. It means that you are comfortable with who you are as a person, with the choices that you make, and with the body that you live in. You don’t need acknowledgment and recognition from others in order to feel whole because you are you and that is your greatest power.

Studies have shown that individuals who prioritize themselves first and who show self-interest without selfishness are a lot happier in life than those who don’t. It goes to show that when you feel good about yourself, every other relationship in your life will benefit as well. 

Feeling Grateful

This morning I woke up with a sense of happiness and gratitude. I couldn’t quite pinpoint what was causing this, but I wasn’t going to complain either way. It is an enjoyable feeling – one that I wish I felt on a daily basis without question.

It took me a while, but after doing some reflecting, I was finally able to realize what was causing this overwhelming sense of happiness and gratitude.

It wasn’t due to any external factor. It was actually all internal. I was feeling this sense of happiness and gratitude because of the relationship that I have grown with myself. 

In just two short years, I have been able to entirely shift my thoughts on myself. I took myself from being broken and hopeless to loving life, and more importantly, to loving myself for the person that I am today. 

It just goes to show how much can change in two years. We often look at two years as an eternity when we first start on our pursuit of something, but in looking back, these two years have gone by in the blink of an eye. Knowing that I will never get that time back, it’s really helped me to stay grounded and to cherish each and every day for the blessing that it is while also feeling excited to see what lies ahead in the next chapter of my life. 

What I am trying to say is to never give up on yourself. Life can take you to hell and back, and sometimes you may even want to give up. But no matter what you do, don’t. There is always light at the end of the tunnel no matter how dark that tunnel may be. As long as you keep moving forward, you will find that light. 

How do I know? Because I am living proof. 

My Past Relationship With Myself

Life hasn’t always been the kindest to me. To be completely honest, there are still times where it’s incredibly challenging. There are times where I still question myself and wonder if I am going down the right path or if I amount to the goals that I have envisioned for myself. I think this is something that we all experience. 

With that being said, where I am today compared to where I was right around two years ago is the difference between night and day. 

Two years ago, I was in such a bad place mentally – places that I hope nobody ever has to go to. I hated myself. And when I say that, I mean like I absolutely despised myself. From my looks, my talents, my brains, my thoughts, my depression, all the way to my overly obsessive habits, there was very little that I could find happiness in.

There were times where I wondered what my purpose was. Other times, I simply questioned whether or not I would be better off dead or alive. Sorry to get deep, but it’s the truth. I would only listen to the criticism of others, and those thoughts would echo in my mind until I believed them and until they became my reality. 

Here’s the thing though. The more I listened to the views and criticism of others, and the more I strived to be accepted by everybody around me, the more that hatred that I had for myself continued to grow. It felt like I was in a never-ending downward spiral and I was becoming more and more hopeless with every passing day. 

My Current Relationship With Myself

After a lot of self-work, I’m proud to say that I honestly love the relationship that I have with myself today.

In fact, I love myself so much now that Ispend the majority of my spare time by myself (perks of being an introvert). 

Look, I’m not perfect. In fact, I’m so far from perfect that it’s not even funny. I still do experience high days and low days every once in a while. There are still days where I struggle with my eating disorder. But very rarely worry what others think of me. For the first time in a long time, I have realized that I am me and that being me is my greatest strength. 

The struggles that I face aren’t me hating myself. Rather, they are old habits that I am trying to overcome – habits that I had developed from living my life for others instead of living my life for myself. 

So what changed? How did I go from absolutely despising myself for the majority of my adult life to loving myself more than ever in just two short years? The answer: I started making myself my own number one priority. My relationship with myself is as strong as it is because I simply started focusing on who I already am and who I want to become instead of striving to be the person that others want me to be. 

One Piece of Advice For You

If there is one piece that I could give you, instill deep down inside of you, and to engrave in your brain so that you will never forget it, it’s to learn to love yourself with your entire heart

Sounds corny, doesn’t it? 

Well, it’s not. Until you learn to love yourself, you will never be able to love those around you, the world that you are living in, or the life that you are living. Everything starts from within. Everything starts with YOU. 

Respect yourself. Love yourself unconditionally on a daily basis. Take yourself out on dates every once in a while. Do something nice for yourself. Be honest with yourself. Create a positive relationship with yourself. 

These are things that all of us should be prioritizing in our daily lives. It will do us no good to beat ourselves up over pasts in which we cannot change or to drive ourselves into the ground over a future that is all but certain. Happiness and success are found in creating a strong and positive relationship with ourselves, and it starts by doing so today. 


Speaking from personal experience, I will say that life is far more enjoyable now that I have a positive relationship with myself. It’s such an amazing feeling to be able to wake up with a smile on my face and gratitude for all that I am blessed with. It is a feeling that I hope everybody can experience. 

Happiness is an inside job – one that is only achieved in continuing to grow and develop the individual that we are on a daily basis. Start your journey today. Don’t wait any longer to give yourself the love that you wish to find because you deserve it. It will make your days brighter and it will make your life better. That is a promise!

Michael Bonnell

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