Love Yourself Before You Love Others
Lately I have really been doing a lot of thinking in my life. Thinking of how my life would be different if I had a significant other or someone to share it with. It isn’t that I am necessarily scared of love, I just never knew how to love. I have always felt that if you want to be happy in life, you need to love yourself before you love others. For me, that has always my biggest challenge. I never knew how to love myself, so how could I possibly feel comfortable in loving others?
Well, here we go. Deep as deep can be. In my twenty five years of existence, I have been in a relationship a total of two times. Well, I don’t even know if I would consider them real relationships. I have never really had a desire to be in a relationship, and to be completely honest, the thought of commitment is something that I struggle with.
“What about this girl?” or “When are you going to find someone to spend your life with and start settling down?” or the best one “Are you even into women?” Believe it or not, these are some of the questions that I get asked.
But why is it that we have to be in a relationship by a certain age? Why is there this belief that we all need to be married by twenty five or thirty years of age with families of our own. Now I don’t know about you, but I just turned twenty five. The thought of marriage scares the hell out of me, mainly because I just found out how to love myself.
But for others out there, what if they just aren’t ready? Marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment. What if they just don’t quite feel comfortable in spending their lives with someone? What if they are having fun in life right now and just don’t want to be in a relationship?
How about the fact that I am living my best life right now? I am living my best life because I am taking my time, finding out who I am as a person, and committing to myself. Every day that I wake up, I am creating a stronger relationship with myself, and I am actually enjoying every second of life.
Who knows where love truly lies. If I meet the right person who makes me happier, perfect. If I don’t meet that person for a few more years down the road, then that is fine as well. But I am not going to force myself into a relationship just because I am of a certain age. Some might say that I am already twenty five years old and still single. Well, I say that I am only twenty five years old and still single.
You need to love yourself before you love others so that you can truthfully know what love even feels like. You aren’t going to be able to commit to someone else and expect them to commit to you, when you can’t even commit to yourself. Love is the same as commitment. You expect to love someone and expect them to love you, when you can’t even love yourself.
If you are in a position similar to mine and are trying to build a relationship with yourself, then take your time. You’re not a loser, you’re not unlovable, you are just learning at a different pace as others. Ignore the comments, ignore the “social norm,” and commit to yourself. As you do, you will not only find who you are as a person, but you will also find out who you want to become.
So do yourself some favors. Be proud of the person you are. Love yourself before you love others, and love yourself for the beautiful person that you are. When you do, you will not only understand what it means to love, but love will then find you in miraculous ways.
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