Being lonely sucks. It means that you have become isolated from the entire world around you. Your friends, your family, and any other relationship that you once called a strong one seems so distant to the strength that it once had.
Everybody is subject to feeling lonely and isolated at some point or another in their life. Even those with the most friends, those who are in the spotlight, and those who have everything that their heart could desire will surely go through a patch of feeling nothing but lonely and isolated from the world around them.
Through this time, many of us listen to the loneliness and isolation that we feel. We shut ourselves off completely from the outside world, and we allow the emotions that we are feeling to compose our identity until this eventually fade away. That is, of course, if they do fade away at all.
Sometimes, though, the feelings of loneliness and isolation overstay their welcome. So, if you are feeling lonely and isolated, then this is for you. Here is some advice from someone who lived that life for many consecutive years.
Feeling Lonely and Isolated
As someone who has gone through a deep and dark depression, I know what it feels like to feel completely shut off from the world. Even during the times where I was surrounded by my family and closest friends, part of me still felt trapped. It was as if I couldn’t be myself because I was so embarrassed of the person who I had become and of the pain that I was going through.
The reason that I felt shut off from the world around me is because I had purposely done so. I felt shut off from the world because I actually had shut myself off from it. I pushed away everyone who was ever close to me, and for the more part, I kept completely and entirely to myself.
For me, I didn’t want anyone to see my pain. I didn’t want anyone to see how miserable and depressed I felt, especially for all that I have been blessed with throughout my life. In an attempt to hide the pain that I was feeling so that those around me couldn’t see it, I became nothing but lonely and isolated.
The Biggest Mistake To Make
At the time, I thought that I was doing myself and those around me a favor. I didn’t want to burden anybody with my problems, and I didn’t want any extra “attention or sympathy” just because of the emotions that I was feeling. If I kept to myself, well, then I would be avoiding both of these things. I wouldn’t feel embarrassed, and I wouldn’t feel like a burden.
The thing is, though, the more I tried to keep to myself, the more lonely and isolated I felt. And it makes complete sense. When you continue with a certain habit, that habit grows.
Well, the same goes for feelings. What you focus on is what you become. The more you try to isolate yourself, the more isolated you will eventually become.
By trying my hardest to hide the pain that I was feeling, I was truly only giving it more strength and more control over my life.
Help Yourself
The best way to help yourself is to be open and honest with your feelings. Feelings and emotions don’t do you any good being bottled up inside a mind that is already feeling weak and vulnerable.
I know that it’s not something that we, as humans, like to do, but the best way to overcome any negative emotion that you are feeling is to admit your weaknesses. Talk with others, seek help, just be open. The more open you are with yourself and with others, the less lonely and isolated you will feel.
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Had I have done this when I was going through my struggles, I would have saved myself from a lot of pain and misery. I can’t tell you what to do with your life, nor is it my intent to try and do so. I can only tell you what I should have done instead of making the mistakes that I did.
Michael Bonnell
7/21/2019
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