Living With Perfectionism

living with perfectionism

living with perfectionism

Dear perfectionism, I really don’t like you. In fact, I may even go as far to say that I hate you.

With anything that I do, there is always this thought of perfectionism that follows close behind. You would be surprised at how long it actually takes me to even write my own thoughts down.

Despite the many grammatical errors that I make, I still spend roughly two to three hours a day writing what it is that I am thinking. It isn’t necessarily that I have a difficult time thinking, it’s just that I have a difficult time writing my thoughts down.

For some reason, I have this belief that my thoughts need to be written perfectly so that others can understand what it is that I am trying to say. Type, revise, type, revise, and type some more. After hours of rereading every sentence, I oftentimes have to drag myself away from my computer.

Now I know that there is no such thing as being perfect. So if I know that there is no such thing as being perfect, then why is it that I even attempt to be? Why not just be myself, and write my unclear thoughts for the world to see instead of trying to hide behind this image of perfection? I mean, that’s what life is all about. Focusing on being our true selves instead of some revised version.

Everybody wants authenticity. Everybody love authenticity. But few are willing to admit to imperfection. When we focus on this idea of being perfect, are we really being our authentic selves, or are we conforming to the beliefs of the world around us?

Perfectionism is something that I have tried so hard to distance myself from, and it is now something that I am realizing I am guilty of trying to be on a daily basis. Sure, I am admitting many of my flaws, but if I am revising my own writing, are you even getting the real me?

That thought is what scares me the most. I want the world to see the real me, I want to share my battles, and I want to show the many imperfections that help to create my identity.

Well, here I am. Writing away on an article that you probably don’t give a sh*t about. Pardon the language, but if I want to overcome perfectionism, then I want to be open to what it is that I am thinking.

As boring as this might seem, this is what I am thinking right now. I want to share with you the real me with absolutely zero revisions. Why? Because the real me is something that I am becoming more proud to be each and every day.

We can all strive to be perfect, but even the best of the best are not perfect. There is simply no such thing. So why not save ourselves the time and the headache, and just be ourselves? Why not make as many mistakes as we can on a daily basis, and just learn to be who it is that we are meant to be.

Life is boring when we try to confine to the societal norm. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to work an 8-4 job for the rest of my life, and I don’t think that you do either. But society teaches us that we should, because society wants us to be boring. It’s time to say screw being boring, and it’s time to set ourselves free.

So you know what, I am done trying to achieve the impossible. I am done trying to worry about every fine little detail that I can’t control. It’s time to embrace my imperfections, and it’s time to live the best life that I can live. Here we go!

Michael Bonnell

12/5/2018

 

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