Daily Blog #265
I don’t really know how else to describe what I am feeling right now other than by using the word “numb.” I am trying to focus on the good, trying to reflect on all of the incredible memories, but the heartache seems to be consuming me. The only thing that is holding me together right now is knowing that there is no more pain, no more misery, and endless amounts of tail wagging. Well, Jack, it’s not a goodbye, but a see you later.
Yesterday was one of the hardest days that I can remember. I have been fortunate enough in my life where I have not had to say too many goodbyes. Probably because God knows that I don’t really control my sadness all too well. But yesterday, was not one of those days. Yesterday, I was forced to say goodbye to my chocolate lab, Jack.
I remember the day that we got Jack. I was in seventh grade playing in a hockey tournament. During our team warm ups, my parents came to the glass and held up the cutest puppy that I have ever seen. Before the game even started, I couldn’t wait for it to be over. I just wanted to take this puppy home, and I just wanted to hold him.
Thirteen years later, I was fortunate enough to be able to walk that beautiful face home. I was blessed enough with the opportunity to say goodbye, blessed enough to get a few more cuddles in with that beautiful puppy, and blessed enough that I was able to see all of the pain vanish as my chocolate lab was back to his normal self running free in the fields of heaven.
I want to dedicate this to my beautiful dog, Jack.
I don’t even know where to start. I guess the only way to start is by saying that this f**king sucks. It has only been a short time since you have left, but not a second has gone by where I haven’t been thinking about you. You were such an enormous part of not only my life, but the life of our entire family.
I wanted to take this as an opportunity to say thank you. Thank you for being one of my best friends, but more importantly, thank you for also being my brother. Thank you for all of the cuddles, kisses, and the times where you jumped on me and knocked me over. Thank you for the memories of playing a boy and his dog out in the backyard, and thank you for running with my shoes all of those times that you didn’t want me to leave. Thank you for being there to accompany me through all of the good, and thank you for being there to comfort me through all of the bad. Thank you for bringing me closer to my family, and thank you for showing me what it looks like to love life.
Believe it or not Jack, you were/are the favorite of this family, and I gladly accept that. You did more for your family than you will ever know. You gave us love, you gave us unforgettable memories, and you brought us even closer together than we already were. You have us many laughs, and you comforted all of us when we were feeling pain. Even yesterday as we were forced to say goodbye, it was you that comforted us, and told us that it was your time.
This is by far one of the hardest things that I have ever done. The tears have not stopped running, the memories have not stopped playing, and my heart has not stopped loving. Nor will it ever.
I truly can’t thank you enough for all you did for me, Jack. I don’t know why God believed that I was worthy enough to have a dog like you, but I am sure glad that He did. You gave your family the absolute best thirteen years that any of us have ever experienced, and for that, I thank you. You deserve to run pain free, and you deserve to roam the endless fields of Heaven. Know that I love you, and I miss you. And know that it’s not a goodbye, but a see you later.
Keep watching over your family, and rest easy Teeps.
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