Being happy in life isn’t a result of constantly asking what is wrong with us or from thinking that our lives are perfect just the way they are.
Being happy in life comes from appreciating all that we have and embracing all of the good that is already present in our lives. Whether we believe it to be true or not, there is far more good in our lives than there is bad.
When we focus solely on fixing all that is wrong with our lives, we come to it from a clouded perspective. Instead of seeing all that we already are and all of the good that is present in our lives, we resort to comparing ourselves, to beating ourselves up and to doubt every move we make. As a result, we begin to complain more frequently when things don’t go according to plan and consume our minds with negativity. None of which will ever lead to a happy or healthy life.
In failing to accept who we already are and all of the good that fills our lives, we begin to see happiness as a game instead of a way of life. We tell ourselves “I will only be happy when…” or “I will only be happy if…” Instead of seeing happiness as something that is already within us, we begin to measure it by external factors – ones in which we almost never have control over.
Living In A Negative State of Mind
I had lived in a negative state of mind for many years of my life, all due to the reasons that I have already mentioned here. Instead of seeing all that I have truly been blessed with in life, I focused every waking moment on all that was missing from my life. Instead of accepting who I already was as a person, I listened to the opinions of others and to the imperfect reflection that stared back at me in the mirror.
I was miserable. I felt miserable about myself, I acted out of sheer misery, and I viewed my life as miserable. The worst part about my misery was the fact that it was all self-inflicted.
It honestly wasn’t until I forced myself to change my mindset and focus on the positives that I began to see life in a different light. It’s inevitable; the more that we focus on the positives in life, the more positivity and goodness we will attract.
Similarily, however, if we focus on all that isn’t right in life and all that is missing, we will begin to see everything from a negative perspective until that negativity consumes every last thought that passes through our minds.
Trust me, I have been there before; it isn’t an enjoyable place to be or an enjoyable way to live life.
Focusing On The Positives
So how can we change our perspective in life? What are some of the ways that we can override the fear and negativity that lives within us and find the positivity and goodness that already fills our lives?
1) By looking at all of the good that already fills our lives and by making it an active priority to focus on the good each and every day. Happiness is a choice. While we don’t always have control over every situation or the actions of others, we always have control over our own perception and our outlook on life. Happiness comes when we focus on positives, when we appreciate them, when we show gratitude towards them, and when we fully embrace them for everything that they are – even when they may present challenges.
2) By believing that what we already have and who we already are is enough. This doesn’t mean that we need to become complacent and never challenge ourselves or strive for better. Instead, it means that we truly believe we are enough and that we have enough, even in the face of adversity.
I will admit that there are times where I have tried to “hype” myself up in order to feel better about my life and my circumstances because I thought that the Universe would bring more good to me if I did. The truth is, there is no “fake it until you make it.” In order to change your perspective to find a happier approach, you need to full-heartedly invest in both yourself and your well-being.
3) By not beating yourself up for your flaws and mistakes. Life isn’t always perfect and there are going to be times in which we are going to make mistakes. Actually, we should be making mistakes every single day and embracing them. If we never make mistakes, it means that we simply aren’t trying hard enough or making the most out of the opportunities that life presents us with.
This doesn’t mean that we need to purposely go out of our way to make mistakes just so that we can experience failure or waiting for something to happen before we can be happy with ourselves. It means recognizing all that we are, praising the strides that we make on a daily basis, and encourage ourselves every step of the way no matter how many mistakes we make. Unless we do so, negative thoughts and behaviors from our pasts will always return.
4) By trusting both ourselves and the Universe. No matter what we experience in life, it’s important that we remember two things.
First, remember that everything is figureoutable. There isn’t any problem that we can’t overcome. As long as we believe in ourselves and trust the fact that there is a bigger plan for us far beyond anything that we can see, we will be alright.
Second, by trusting that everything happens for a reason. Again, we may not know or comprehend what that reason might be, but it is not for us to know. We are just a speck in a growing universe. The more we try to control everything around us, the more difficulties we are going to experience.
How To Start Focusing On The Positives
Sometimes it can be a challenge to focus on anything positive. There are days where I wake up in a bad mood, when something bad happens at work, or when it simply feels like the Universe is constantly pushing me in what I think is the wrong direction.
When I find myself having a difficult time focusing on the good in life, it is mainly due to a few reasons.
First, I find myself comparing my life to the lives of those around me, or to an image of perfection that I have constructed inside of my head. Growing up I wanted to be a professional athlete, and not being anywhere close to my childhood dream, it can sometimes leave me wondering where I went wrong. And it isn’t just with sports, it’s with reflecting on goals that we once set and realizing that we have yet to achieve them.
The best way to overcome a comparison mindset is to simply let go of your ego. You may not have achieved that childhood dream or goal that you once set, but you have grown and excelled in other areas of your life instead. Trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be in life and that what you have and who you are is nothing short of a blessing.
Second, I write down what I am most grateful for and reflect on what I have accomplished. It doesn’t matter what you are most grateful for, as long as it positively impacts your life, write it down. There is something about writing down what you are most grateful for that really gives it the power it deserves.
Also, write down some of the things that you accomplished throughout the day. In doing so, you will often realize that you actually achieved more than you are giving yourself credit for. See, when we are in a negative state of mind, it’s so much easier to focus on the negatives in life instead of focus on the good. The best way to stop yourself from falling into a negative state of mind is to replace them with positive thoughts and to see that we are enough.
Nobody ever said that life was meant to be easy. There are going to be times in the future where we encounter challenging and unwanted thoughts, but it is up to us to overcome and move past them.
Our life is ours to live. It’s the one and only one that we get, so we need to make the most out of it no matter what the circumstances might be. Focusing on the positives isn’t always easy, but doing will always lead to more happiness in life.