A Bad Choice Doesn’t Make You A Bad Person

a bad choice doesn't make you a bad person
a bad choice doesn't make you a bad person
Photo by: Mitchell Hollander

Daily Blog #345

I think this is a large part of where my perfectionist mentality comes from – the fear of making mistakes, the fear of failing, and the fear of accidentally hurting others all stems from the fact that I never wanted others to think of me as a bad person. I used to think of myself as a bad person the way it was, and I was definitely not wanting to hear it from others as well.

After a lot, and I mean a lot of soul searching, long periods of looking at my own reflection in the mirror, and countless hours of reading self-help books, I can now see that a bad decision doesn’t make you a bad person – it makes you human. It gives you something to learn from and an opportunity to grow into the person that you want to become.

The only time a bad choice or a bad decision in life can ever make you a bad person is if you continually make the same mistake over and over again while knowing that it is only going to hurt yourself and those around you.

I used to be so scared of making bad decisions because I was scared of the negative consequences that would follow. I didn’t believe that I possessed the strength to manage any negative emotion, judgement, or consequences. To be completely honest, it got to the point where I quit making any and all decisions entirely.

Want to know what happened as a result of not allowing myself to make mistakes? I quit living. My life became the world’s saddest love song stuck on repeat. I would wake up, go to work, workout, then shut myself in my room until it was time to wake up and repeat the process all over again.

To be fair, I still do this. Well, minus the shutting myself in my room part. But now, I actually go out and do things when opportunities present themselves, I make meaningful memories with friends and loved ones, and best of all, I give myself the opportunity to decisions whether they be bad or good.

You might not think that this is something to be proud of, but honestly, I couldn’t be prouder of myself. I am learning from my mistakes and I am living life how it’s intended to be lived: learning, growing, and at least giving myself the opportunity to succeed.

Without making a bad choice here and there, how can you possibly expect to succeed? How can you expect to learn and grow from your mistakes if you aren’t even giving yourself the opportunity to make any? Perfection doesn’t exist, and the sooner that we all realize this, the happier that we will be.

Everyone is going to make bad decisions in life. That’s just life… But if you aren’t giving yourself the opportunity to make bad decisions and to make mistakes, you will never be able to grow from who you are into who it is that you want to become.

Here are 4 realizations that helped me to get over my fears of making bad decisions.

1. There is no such thing as perfection.

Perfection is something that nobody will ever achieve. No matter how hard we try and no matter how badly we want to be perfect, we are always going to make mistakes. So don’t be scared of making decisions, see all decisions as an opportunity to grow in life.

2. Everybody makes mistakes.

Even the people that you look up to make mistakes. But know that making mistakes doesn’t mean that you or your dreams are a mistake. It means that you are growing and learning, which is what life is truly all about.

3. The only way forward is by moving forward.

You need to be willing to give yourself the opportunity to move forward in life. You can talk about changing all you want and imagine what your life might look like with said change, but until you decide to act on that change, you will never know what it truly looks like.

4. A bad choice doesn’t make you a bad person.

Everybody fails, everybody makes mistakes, and everybody makes bad choices. Again, you need to be willing to accept the fact that you are going to do so if you ever want to make progress towards the dreams that you have not yet achieved.

The point is that making mistakes is never fun to make, but they are necessary. If you are currently not where you need to be, then you are not giving yourself enough of an opportunity to achieve your goals and dreams. Even if you make mistakes along the way, the only way that you will ever know what you are truly capable of achieving is if you give yourself the opportunity to find out.

Michael Bonnell

4/10/2019

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