Self-love isn’t something that many of us seem to practice enough of. It’s an important part of our lives, our health, and our happiness, but for those like me (younger men), there is almost this shame of talking about self-love.
Regardless of who you are, you need to learn to love yourself more. It doesn’t matter how much you already love yourself, you simply don’t love yourself enough.
For the record, self-love is completely different than being egotistical.
Self-love does not mean that you think of yourself as being better than others, or that you are the be all end all to the world around you. It does not mean that you disrespect others or see others as being beneath you.
Self-love is about your own well-being and your own happiness towards yourself. It’s about learning to appreciate yourself for the individual you already are, and growing from the various lessons and actions that support your physical, mental, and spiritual growth. It’s dynamic; it grows through actions that mature you.
Why You Need To Love Yourself More
I don’t think it’s any secret that all of us wish we could change something about ourselves.
Before I was diagnosed with depression in college, I told myself that I would only be happy with myself once I lost weight and felt confident.
Then when I lost weight and began feeling confident, I told myself that I needed more muscle.
After that, I told myself that I would love myself once I got over my depression.
Then, I developed an eating disorder and told myself that I would start loving myself once I was over my eating disorder.
Now, I have this stupid bump in my mouth that is impacting my confidence and have begun telling myself that I will love myself once this bump vanishes.
As I was reflecting on all of these things the other day, I began to question myself. Why was I always putting off loving myself for a later date? All of these things have contributed to who I am as an individual today. Why not love myself for the me today instead of always pushing it off for a later day?
See, I know there are many others out there who are just like me – individuals who keep telling themselves that life will be better when… or they will love themselves when… etc.
The truth of the matter is that we will always find something about ourselves to critique. There is always going to be something that we wish we could change about ourselves. If we keep pushing off loving ourselves until a day where there isn’t something about ourselves that we don’t want to change, then we are going to be waiting for an eternity.
When we begin to love ourselves for who we already are, we begin to find more joy and happiness in our lives. We begin to see life as the amazing blessing it is instead of constantly feeling like we have to continue to fight our way through it.
Isn’t that what you want out of life? Don’t you want to be happy, be successful, and live the best life you possibly can?
If so, it starts with self-love. You simply cannot love others until you learn to love yourself.
5 Powerful Ways To Love Yourself
1. Talk to yourself the way you want others to talk to you.
The conversations we have with ourselves are often cruel.
If you were walking down the street and heard someone talking directly to another person the way you talk to yourself, you would probably get into a confrontation with how mean and cruel it sounds.
So then why do we talk to ourselves this way?
Be nice to yourself. Love yourself for the amazing individual you are. Talk to yourself in a way that is going to uplift you and provide you with a sense of encouragement instead of constantly bringing yourself down.
2. Take care of yourself.
If you want to love yourself more, start taking better care of yourself. You will love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs.
People who love themselves are able to do so because they nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, move their bodies, have healthy and balanced diets, get proper amounts of sleep, and have healthy social interactions.
These are things that most of us overlook on a frequent basis, but they are all incredibly important when it comes to learning to love ourselves.
3. Find a healthy balance.
Of course, you should have goals for yourself and try to challenge yourself, but you also need to set boundaries and remember to enjoy life and not work yourself to death.
This is something that I struggle with, so I know all too well the impact and the toll it can take on your mind and on your physical health.
You’ll love yourself more when you find that balance and feel comfortable with saying no to more work, relationships that don’t bring out the best in you, or situations that constantly bring you down.
If you want to improve any part of your life, surround yourself with people and things who are going to make it easier for you to do so.
4. Learn to forgive yourself.
We are so hard on ourselves all the time. It’s like if we make one little mistake, we beat ourselves up instead of simply learning from said mistake and moving on.
As challenging as it may be, you have to do your best to accept the fact that you are human and are going to make many mistakes in life. Making mistakes are just part of life. They’re the only way we are going to grow into the individual we have the potential of becoming.
When you make a mistake today, practice being less hard on yourself and reflect on the lessons you learned. Remember, the word fail simply means first attempt in learning. You will never be a failure as long as you always learn something from your mistakes.
5. Live with a purpose.
You will accept and love yourself more (regardless of what is happening in your life) when you live with purpose and intention.
Know who it is you want to become. Know what you want to achieve. Know the impact you want to have on the lives of others and the world around you.
If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, make decisions that support this intention. You will love yourself more if you see yourself accomplishing what you feel you are meant to set out to do.
Before You Go
Are there things that I wish I could change about myself? Absolutely! But I am also learning to love myself for who I already am as a person instead of waiting to love myself only once I have achieved bigger and better things.
Self-love isn’t something to be taken lightly. If you want to master your life and truly live the best life that you possibly can, the easiest way to do so is by learning to love yourself for who you already are, and for the amazing gift you are already living.
Michael Bonnell
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